Debt. Just the word used to make me feel a tightness in my chest. It felt like a shadow following me everywhereâat the grocery store, at dinner with friends, even when I was trying to sleep. I used to think that until I was completely debt-free, I didnât deserve to feel happy or relaxed. But one day, I realized something powerful: you can still live, breathe, and enjoy life even while paying off debtâwithout drowning in guilt.
The secret isnât about ignoring debt or pretending it doesnât exist. Itâs about reframing how you see it, making peace with your current reality, and creating small steps that bring you back into control. If youâre tired of feeling crushed under financial stress, these steps will help you breathe again.
Debt doesnât define you. Itâs simply a chapter in your lifeâa temporary one. I used to feel ashamed, like I was the âbroke friendâ or âthe one who canât manage money.â That self-criticism only made me feel worse and spend more.
Once I started writing down my story as if I were the hero, not the failure, everything changed. Youâre not your debt; youâre the woman whoâs about to rise above it.
Most budgets feel restrictive, but I created what I call a Breathe Budgetâa plan that balances financial responsibility with room to live.
Hereâs what I did:
Listed my essentials (rent, bills, food).
Added a âjoy fundâ (even $10/week for something I love).
Left space for debt payments without taking away all of my happiness.
This balance allowed me to pay off debt without feeling suffocated or deprived.
Do you ever feel guilty for buying even a small treat when you have debt? I did. Iâd buy a coffee and then beat myself up about how I âshouldnât have spent that $5.â
But guilt doesnât pay bills. It only drains your energy. I started practicing gratitude instead. For every small purchase, Iâd ask: âDoes this bring me joy or make my life easier?â If the answer was yes, I let go of the guilt because a happy, balanced mindset will get you out of debt faster than constant self-punishment.
Instead of obsessing over how much I owed, I celebrated every small step forward. Paid $20 extra this month? Thatâs a win. Cooked at home instead of eating out? Another win.
By focusing on progress rather than the mountain ahead, I felt lighter and more motivated to keep going.
Debt can feel heavy because itâs tied to fear. I created a weekly âmoney ritualâ to release that stress. Iâd:
Light a candle.
Review my spending and savings.
Write in my journal about the progress I made.
This little ritual made money feel less scary and more like a part of my self-care routine.
Life doesnât start after your debt is goneâitâs happening right now. I gave myself permission to enjoy small, meaningful moments: watching sunsets, having movie nights at home, or baking something sweet.
Debt might be a reality, but it doesnât get to steal your happiness unless you let it.
One of the smartest things I did was create a small savings fund, even while paying off debt. I saved $500 as a starter cushion, and it changed my life. Why? Because emergencies happenâflat tires, medical bills, unexpected repairs.
Instead of panicking or swiping a credit card, I had a tiny safety net. It wasnât a huge amount, but it gave me confidence. Trust me, saving even $10 or $20 each week for this fund will stop you from falling deeper into the debt trap.
I tried to pay off everything all at once and burned out. Then I discovered two methods that actually worked:
The Snowball Method: Pay off your smallest debt first for quick wins.
The Avalanche Method: Pay off the highest interest debt first to save money in the long run.
I started with the snowball approach because it kept me motivated. Crossing one debt off my list felt like winning a battle every single time.
Automation saved me from my worst habitâforgetting to make payments on time. I set up automatic bill payments and even an auto-transfer to savings.
This way, I didnât have to rely on willpower. The money moved where it needed to go without me second-guessing it. Itâs like putting your financial goals on autopilot.
When youâre in debt, every expense can feel like a sin. But life is too short to live without small joys. I set aside a tiny âfun fundââjust $20â$30 a monthâfor something that made me happy.
Maybe it was a latte with a friend, a new nail color, or a cozy book. These little treats reminded me that budgeting isnât about punishment; itâs about balance.
This one took courage. I had to start saying no to things I couldnât affordâdinners, trips, and impulsive shopping sprees. But I didnât just say no; I offered alternatives:
âLetâs have a wine night at home instead of going out.â
âCan we do a picnic instead of brunch?â
Real friends understood. And saying no with confidence felt empowering instead of awkward.
Debt can feel endless if you only look at the total. So, I celebrated small milestones:
Paying off one credit card.
Saving my first $100.
Saying no to an unnecessary purchase.
I kept a jar where Iâd drop a note for every win. Reading those little notes made me realize how far Iâd come.
Journaling taught me that I often spent money when I was bored or stressed. So I built new rituals:
Taking a 15-minute walk instead of shopping online.
Writing in my journal when I felt anxious.
Brewing a fancy homemade coffee instead of buying one.
Over time, these tiny swaps saved me hundreds of dollars.
One game-changer was introducing no-spend days. Iâd choose 1â2 days a week where I wouldnât spend a single dollar. These days gave me a sense of control and reminded me how many fun things in life are freeâlike watching sunsets, cooking something creative, or calling a friend.
Once I saw progress, I started dreaming bigger. I created a simple plan for my post-debt life:
Travel goals.
A home savings plan.
Investing a small amount monthly.
Knowing what I was working toward kept me focused.
Debt carries shame, but that shame doesnât help you grow. I started writing affirmations like:
âI am learning and improving every day.â
âMy past doesnât define my future.â
When you forgive yourself, you start to make decisions from a place of love, not fear. And thatâs when real change happens.